The Self is not passive, it actively knocks on your heart. It actively tries to break through the veil of separation between you and the word, you and others, the inside and the outside. Yoga, the flow of movements, breaths, bandhas and mudras – all this activity is not an invention of a thinking mind. It’s the activity of the Self, the intelligence of Nature, that takes control of the body, expresses itself in activities of the body, to liberate you from the chains of fear, which the thinking mind wrapped around the heart in order to protect itself and survive. This phenomenon only occurs in the Present. It’s not an activity of the past nor a modification or evolution of memory or thought structures.Yoga arises in any time, in any culture, in any individual that somehow, for a moment, completely surrenders, lets go of any form of control, striving, or modifying. Try, try sometime to listen to the voice of your body beyond any knowledge, any system, any direction.

Swim in life.
Be creative, make every move an ecstatic experience.
Don’t be ashamed — open up, get closer, as close as you can.
Lick it, wallow in life, in the experience.
Let it lie on you, get swallowed by it and spat out by it — by the mouth of God, by the mouth of Nature.

Feel how the energy is rising.
Stay open and receptive.
Allow the whisper of God to tell you what to do, what to think, what to write.
You are it, you’re Existence, you are Everything.
Don’t be afraid, don’t be ashamed — you are worthy.
You are worthy of being Everything.

The voice in your head is the voice of Life, of never‑ending, changing Existence.
The pain in the heart is the feeling of Life being restricted by fear.
See, feel the freedom that is happening now, in this moment.
Dance. Wallow. Roll in the sand of the experience.
Like a child.
Dive into the heap of autumn leaves.
Get dirty, really dirty with Life.
Feel the pain, feel every emotion to its core, to your core.
Feel how deeply you suffer — and love it.
Eat it, eat the suffering, eat it like a hungry dog eats a piece of meat. Sweat with experience, stink with it.
Don’t worry what others say.
Don’t worry about their judgment, for it cannot hurt you.
It cannot cause you any harm.
You are it, you are All — the gray and the rainbow, the rain and the sunshine.

Make love with it.
Open to it, let it pass through your entire body.
It is you, it is All that is, it is all that you’ve ever had.
Be — with no shame, with no regret, with no fear.
Scream. Dance. Jump and shake.
Cry and laugh like a crazy man.
For you are All.
It’s you.
It’s all that is.

As long as there is trying to be something, there will be stress, there will be suffering. There will be reactivity of the mind in any case, in any situation when its being-ness, when its belief in what it is, gets threatened… To become a spiritual person, to become a traveler, to become a nice man, all these sooner or later will cause the mind to suffer. To become a good person, to become a friend, an adviser, all these are doomed to make the mind dark.

How, how to live beyond that, how to quiet this vicious cycle of becoming, of being, of forming… I am more and more aware of my falseness, of the strange fact that I’m nothing more than a virtual being, a virtual person. All that I did, all my memories of who I was and what I am, what is my purpose, are working underneath the conscious mind causing it to react, to respond to life events in a certain way. With happiness and joy, or with suffering and sadness… Marcin, you are good, soon you will be good enough to help people to make their lives better. That sounds so nice, so tempting. And that’s what creates such a great dose of suffering, distress and struggle. The life becomes a path, a path to achieve something, a path to become someone, in this case a nice, useful man. And every event, every emotion, every sensation, every other mind encountered in this journey is being judged, is being evaluated through the lenses of usefulness to achieve this ideal, to become this. Krishnamurti was so right. The ideal kills the life, kills interest, corrupts the mind. The ideal of a holy man, of an enlightened being or the ideal of a successful, useful member of society. It always causes the same. Never-ending judgment of life events, of the present moment, the lack of interest, the mechanistic view: follow that, follow that technique, and you will become, you will become what you always wished for, what you got conditioned to wish for. Whatever you grew up in, whatever you got exposed to, whatever you believed would bring you peace, will bring you everlasting happiness… And then you start killing the life, killing the present, using it as a currency for which you will buy the better self, the more accepted one, more loved one, more powerful one.

04/11/2018 Pai